Brain Aneurysm

Neutrino_cannon and I were discussing what sort of things you might hear if a 17th century teacher were temporally displaced into the modern day. This is some of what we came up with:

"YOU LET THE PEOPLE VOTE?!"

"YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO WATCH EVERYTHING IMPORTANT REMOTELY AND YOU DON'T?"

"YOU CAN SCAN THOUSANDS OF SQUARE MILES OF OCEAN FOR BOATS IN LESS THAN A SECOND AND YOU STILL HAVE PIRATES?!  WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!"


"YOU CAN LITERALLY CALL DOWN THE THUNDER OF THE GODS AT WILL, AND YOUR NUMBER ONE PROBLEM IS A BUNCH OF ILLITERATE GOAT HERDERS???"

"YOU WANT TO PACIFY A VIOLENT REGION AND THE MOST COGENT PLAN YOUR HIGHLY TRAINED PROFESSIONAL MILITARY OFFICERS CAN COME UP WITH IS LET'S TRY TO BE FRIENDS WITH THEM?"

"THE SECOND MOST ECONOMICALLY POWERFUL NATION HAS AN 18% SUICIDE RATE?"

"THE MOST POWERFUL COUNTRY TO HAVE EVER EXISTED TOOK ON RICE FARMERS ON TWO SEPARATE OCCASIONS AND FAILED BOTH TIMES?"

"THE MOST REVERED PIECE OF RECENTLY DEVELOPED TECHNOLOGY AMOUNTS TO AN AUTOMATED GOSSIP SERVICE?"

"AND SAID SERVICE USES, BY SEVERAL ORDERS OF MAGNITUDE, MORE COMPUTING POWER THAN WAS USED TO GO TO THE MOON?"

"YOU ACTUALLY SET FOOT ON THE MOON, AND YOU NEVER WENT BACK?"

"YOU CAN FLY THROUGH THE AIR A HUNDRED MILES FROM CITY TO CITY BUT IT WOULD BE FASTER TO DRIVE BECAUSE OF THE SECURITY MEASURES?!"

"YOU CAN CREATE MAGICAL ENERGY TO SUSTAIN THE HOMES OF A NATION FOR YEARS FROM A FEW HUNDRED STONE OF PITCHBLENDE AND YOU STILL BURN COAL???"